The Kill

I just feel I need to type something. Not going to update much as am still busy with my current work. In fact I just recovered from sickness. I guess my gastric pain got worst last Saturday. Muntah bagai kenak exorcism. Gosh. When I think back my last Saturday, I feel scared. Mun Badang ya wujud, kali cukup muntah aku pakey nya makan. 😂😂😂😂

So, like usual, I didn't take any foods after vomit. For at least 12 hours. So that my tummy could get some rest. I only had my food, the next day, on Sunday. Survived on porridge and plain water. And then, got this body ache and migraine. I guess my body just couldn't receive more that it just released everything. Like a dying person. Seriously. 

Today, I feel better. Slightly better that previous three days. Resume back with my work. At least I can focus on it without any interference. Later on will be going to hospital. Mom's youngest brother admitted into hospital last night. This year full of shocking news. I hope next year will be brighter for our family. 

There are times where I just hardly accept things like this. Tuhan jak tauk macam ney rasa hati. Bertimpa timpa jak masalah. 

Until at one part where I just feel like I could not do anything, I just lay down and cried to my sleep. 

Besar dugaan yang Engkau beri kepada kami sekeluarga, Tuhan...

Being strong is my strength. Even at my weakest point. 

People may not understand and I don't wish people to understand.. 

For I know God is always there to turn to.

I cry on my knees, I tell Him everything. And once am done, I know I have to get back on my feet and look forward again.