How many years has it been since my last time here? I lost the calculation.
It marked six years since Papa passed away. The longing is real... Kinda bit lost someone whom I could talk crap whenever I needed it... I haven't been to visit his grave. And am unsure if I have no time or I just simply have no courage? Not courage, more to I don't know...
Life has been loaded with work apparently. With people, at work specifically. My mind, my precious brain and my fragile heart. And my personal space. Families, close friends. Just the normal things.
Still fighting for my health tho...Working hard? Macam tipu jerrr, to raise my hb to the normal level. Heh, sometimes, okkkk, sometimes, I skip my meds. Hopefully can discipline myself more. My hb from 7 something to 9 something. Hopefully in the next four months, kalau betul arahan doktor ya diikut, it should reach 12. Kata ku jakkkk...
I have no intention to keep this blog updated. For now, am gonna keep it as it is, just in case I need space to rant. Social media nowadays are no joke, people... Some people be on your soc med just to be a cctv and spread gossip about you. Just for them to spy on info about you for gossiping. Angol ku. I still keep mine private. Except for whatsapp status and my fb post. I set them public. Just to feed their eyes, and mouth, to give them topics for their deeeeepppppp discussion. Hahahahaha evil.
Gawai went well but quite dull. Few cousins and their families did not go back for the celebration. So a bit sunyi lah. I dyed my hair to blue black and half brown. Thought to do the extreme one but then, baru teringat pekerjaan saya. So, niat batal. Tattoo still three, still in search for design and meaning before getting another one. Nahhhh, am not rushing for thing like this. You are not gonna rush in getting one and regret it for the rest of your life.
BTS is coming to Malaysia in December. Tickets are sold out. And the price ish ish ishhhh. And they sold it during Gawai week. Telan aek lio jak nangga rega and yaaaa, dekat tapi jauh. Maka kita berhuhuhu saja lah.
I told my friend before this, next birthday celebration, let's do it in a club. Let's go drunk, like doing it for the last time, and have fun.😁😁😁 And they were like, yes cannn, but we will wait for you outside, and you can just go ahead have fun inside. And I was like, whhhyyyy, that will mark our 40th birthday bahhhh. Hah, they were not keen with the idea. Dalam otak dalam hati, semangat membara. And another friend was like, anang ila ku ninga berita nyebut, seorang wanita bekerja sebagai sanuk sanuk di sanuk sanuk ditemui tidak bernyawa ketika berada di pusat hiburan. Ataupun kena tangkap polis semasa serbuan di kelab malam. Lagikkkk lahhhh imagination nak seorang ya.😆😆😆
Well, am truly blessed to have those friends I have now. Those friends who watched me during my turbulence years, without judging me knowing how I was before. Sayang semua.💗💗💗
And hellooooo 12 tahun sudah berlalu, I had and still living my life clean. Cleannnnnnnn. Hah, am proud of myself. No more alcohol, no more cigarette, no more clubs, no more nightlife. It gets calmer and peaceful now. Sejajar dengan usia dan juga kesihatan. Gitewwwwwww. Sometimes I miss it. Tapi miss it bukan bermaksud I want to get back to that life again. Noooo. It just that I miss the chaotic vibes, the loudness, the people, somehow somewhere, it did help me to go thru whatever I go thru during those years.
Bye. For now.
