Reminisce about the past

Now, let's reveal a little part of my past. Specifically on ambition, career, the likes, the don't s.

Where do I begin? Alright primary school. I guess being a child a kid a primary school child, I had few ambitions. And like most of us, I did change from one to another. Normal lah kannn

 I wanted to be an astronaut before. Seriously. I was influenced by encyclopedia. Ok. That was my biggest influence. Books, encyclopedias. I read those. Spent lot of times in library. Since I attended a rural school, it was absurd for other kids to know one of their classmates had this very high dream. I was mocked because of it. Lol

Then I changed. Even my teacher told me, "It is impossible, Moon."

Alright then. I changed to soldier, then I got few words from my late grandma.

"Why do you want to be a soldier? If you are unlucky, you can get yourself kill, you know. Very dangerous!"

Alright then. I wanted to be a geologist, a scientist, a professor... Never want to be a nurse, or a teacher. 

I remember I taught my little cousin Mathematics. I was 11 years old, and my cousin was 10 years old. 

I told him this, " Do you know there is an answer for this question 3 - 4 =?, 8-12 =?, and etc?"

And my cousin went like, " Are you sure? But teacher said cannot solve". 

And me trying to convince him, " Your teacher telling you lies. You can solve it. You just reconstruct the statement and put the negative sign in front. For example, 3 - 4 = 4 - 3 = 1. put the sign, you will get -1".

And my cousin, "Are you sure?" 

And me, "A-ha!"

The next day, he got all wrong. Muahahahaha. It wasn't my fault, ok. It just that in the school, positive and negative integers were not in the primary school syllabus. I taught him something that he should learn in the next 3 years. Advance haaaa. I learnt those early from books, and when I got into secondary school, I had this lazy syndrome as I already knew the things earlier than that. 

During my secondary school, I learned, I studied with the aim to complete my secondary school. So, whenever they asked me what do you want to be when you finish school? I said, nothing. And seriously, I became ambition less. I didn't want to be anything. Keep flowing and be where I ended to be. 

Then I met my dad after such a long time I didn't see him. Yup, my parent they divorced when I was 6 years old. Dad was a journalist at that time. Until today. Still a journalist. I went to his office a lot during those days. Got to meet few other journalists, editors. I remember the chief editor asked me, "Do you want to be like your dad one day?"

I had no answer, so I gave him a little nice smile. I didn't talk a lot back then except when I was surrounded with my close friends and families. And since then I started to write a bit, and nurtured that writing feeling in me. Dad? Like usual, he supported me. Up until today. He asked me to write an article and if it suits their company, he wanted to bring me into that world. I declined the request. Am not ready for something big. Perhaps next time. 

 When I was 16 years old, dad told me to do jurisprudence once I completed my Form 5. And I didn't say anything. I wasn't into law. I went to Form 6 instead. And silently, I wanted to be a doctor. But during the dissection of guinea pig, I couldn't hold back my tears. And my Biology teacher told me, " Do not involve in the medical field. You have a soft-heart". Then, the ambition sinked down. After completed my Form 6, I failed to get place into any of the public universities. Shit. But actually I didn't mind. I almost quit school when I was 12 years old, 15 years old, 17 years old. But I went through it all. Hahahaha. Damn it. I just hate school. But the determination to excel in my life drops everything else behind. Got an offer to do biotechnology industry in one of private universities. Two weeks before departed, got a call from my previous university. I went with the call and did my degree in education. Something that not so me. And really not into it. Determination to complete everything and pursue my own dream. I've told my dad before, after I completed my degree, I don't want to be a teacher. No matter what happen,  I just don't want. Let me do and set up my own business. Wala. Till now I have no businesses at all. Dad offered something before, but I declined. Not ready to venture yet. 

Maybe I'll end up as a journalist.. One day... When the time comes.. Who knows.. In fact if you ask me now, what is my ambition? What are the things that I want to do? To be honest, to not telling lies, I still have no ideas. I haven't seen my path yet. I just don't know....