~~Feeling

It's 17th December 2012 today.. I'm feeling a bit worry... Don't know why is everything so confusing now... Maybe because of yesterday or the day before yesterday... And I don't know how to tell everything.. Get so worry lately.. Have many things to think and to figure out before the new year comes... Ya I know, it's very hard for me to share anything as I prefer to keep it by myself... Sharing is caring??? Naahhhhh... not applicable in these modern days.... Bad, huh??? When I start to worry over something, I'll get nervous and some other time I'll feel like to puke... Aaarrggghhhhhh.. That's the worst state in my life.. I always get away from challenges in my life.. always get through no matter what.. I believe God is always be by my side to help me to get through everything.. I love you, God.. And no matter what happen always keep me close to you.. Career is always giving me these sort of feelings.. Look happy from the outside, but inside no one knows.. Who is the person on earth that is not worry about career?? Should be at this age I already have a steady career.. I can't be on a contract basis job all the time. In a long term, it will be a bit wasting of time for me.. Should or should not... Go or not going.... Dare to take the risk or just back off... I also don't know which one to choose. It's nearly Christmas.. I love Christmas.. Christmas never fails to keep me happy.. :)
 This time, I'll be celebrating in Kuching. Not going back to my village.. actually I prefer to be back to my own village but then because of certain reasons, can't go back this year. Perhaps after Christmas then can go back.. And it will be nice if everyone is back home, just like Gawai.. Gathering with aunties and uncles, with cousins, nieces, nephews... But this time it will be a bit quiet as my auntie just passed away about a month ago... Stopping tying for a few moments just take some ideas.. hahahahaha!!! Sometimes I just have so many things to say, but some other times, I just don't know how to type them out.. Ngeeeeeeeeeeee... And there I go, log in log out log in log out in out in out in out.... Still nothing.. Arrrghhhhhh.. Crossing finger and hoping for something to appear.. Dear God, don't give me hard times.. I'm afraid that I can't face it alone.....